Very Brief Doctor Who Reviews – Season Twelve

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Robot – I almost said that this is the most average story of average stories – but then I remembered the circumstances it was made in. A new Doctor’s debut story, made by the previous production team, and surrounded by the trappings of his predecessor – there’s no other story like this. Given this, I think it’s a relief that it didn’t fall flat on its face. Tom Baker’s Doctor arrives fully formed – interestingly not the brooding alien of the Hinchcliffe era, but the camper, quirkier, more comedic man of the Williams era, which is the version that seems to have stuck in public consciousness. It’s probably just Tom being Tom. The robot’s tiny hands are well known source of jollity, but what about his stumpy little legs? Why is the poor thing so top heavy? Here’s a question; why does the fascist scientist organisation object to women wearing trousers – and yet not, apparently, to being led by a woman? The little toy tank that trundles into shot at the end of part three – and again at the beginning of part four – has to be one of my favourite special effects fails in Doctor Who. If I never get the chance to say it again, I love the Brigadier. “The rest are all foreigners” indeed. The poor guy seems so excited that maybe he’ll be able to save the day all on his own for once. Yes, the overall quality is average, but there are plenty of fun moments. 5/10

The Ark in Space – Sorry received wisdom, I just don’t get it. I mean there’s nothing wrong with this episode, but I don’t see what’s so special about it, either. The same with the current TARDIS crew, seeing as we’ve now entered what people deem the golden age of Doctor Who. I like the fourth Doctor, but only in the way that I like the Doctor in general; Sarah is a bit too much of a whiter than white heroine for my liking; and poor Harry is an out-of-place remnant of an alternative reality where Pertwee was replaced by an older actor. Everyone talks about how impressive the sets are, and yes they’re quite big, but they’re vast expanses of flatly lit white walls. I’m not going to criticise the bubble wrap monster, because I think I’d be in the wrong fandom if I did; I will however note that the way the adult Wirrn bounces up and down when it talks – the same way kids playing dolls do to indicate who’s talking – brings a smile to my face. 6/10

The Sontaran Experiment – There must be some special Doctor Who edition of Murphy’s Law that states that if a race is meant to all be identical, they won’t be. Although, given that the change in mask was to make it more comfortable for poor Kevin Lindsey, I’ll give them a pass – but then why did they keep in Sarah’s line about them being identical? I’ll bet there is a wealth of outtakes featuring the robot falling over. It’s amazing to think that this is the same time allotted to a single episode of Doctor Who today, and yet I get the feeling that everyone involved thought it was too short to tell an entire story. Instead they plumped for running between rocks of various shapes and sizes, waiting for the story to be over and we can get to the next one. Nasty, brutish, and short. 3/10

Genesis of the Daleks – I can’t believe this is from the same author who gave us Death to the Daleks. I don’t generally notice direction, but even I can tell that this has been beautifully shot. That low angle image of the dalek against the purple sky is just beautiful. The Davros mask is phenomenal; why is that in the eighties he looks like a half-melted wax figure, when he looks this good in 1975. Michael Wisher as Davros and Peter Miles as Nyder are my favourite villainous double-act. Davros is such a smooth talker, you believe it when he feeds you lies, and that makes him even more terrifying. Nyder was the role Peter Miles was born to play; it’s made such an impact on me, in his other two Doctor Who appearances I just see Nyder (Dr Lawrence, Professor Whitaker – Nazis). The guest characters are great, too – Ronson, Sevrin, Gharman, Bettan. And what an ending – “have pity!” This is one of those episodes where every element comes together absolutely perfectly. A classic and rightly so. 10/10

Revenge of the Cybermen – Campest. Cyberleader. Ever. Just look at him, strutting around with his hands on his hips. I’ll start to with the positives: the back-lighting effect used to show the virus is pretty cool; and while the Doctor and Sarah are too lily white to ever be tempted by gold, I like that Harry isn’t above going all Golem on us – it makes me like him a little bit more. Less than positives: if Death to the Daleks is the dullest story ever, this is a close second. The Vogans and their internal squabbling is so banal that no matter how many times I’ve seen this story, I still couldn’t tell you what their problem actually is. Their planet is about to be destroyed, surely we don’t need a leadership struggle on top of it. No wonder they all look like they’re falling asleep. if even actors like Kevin Stoney, Michael Wisher, and David Collings can’t bring this dialogue to life, what hope have we got. 3/10

Originally published 25 February, 2017.
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